Unconventional thinking about the Middle East.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Al-Qaeda Declares Government, Islamic State in Iraq

The “Official Spokesman” of the “Ministry of Information” of the “Islamic State of Iraq” has kindly informed the world, through a new Shura Council of the Mujaheddin video released on the internet today, that Iraq is now divided into two.

“The Alliance of the mutayyebin,” a new body announced on October 12 and consisting of several jihadi groups such as Al-Qaeda in Iraq that are now allegedly allied to several Sunni Iraqi tribal leaders, has declared the formation of an Islamic state within the Sunni areas of Iraq. “mutayyebin” refers to the gooey yellowish syrup called teeb into which those who pledged allegiance to each other dipped their right hands.

The “Official Spokesman” declared that the territory that the jihadists currently control in Iraq is roughly equal to the territory of the state of Medina founded by the Prophet Muhammad during the early days of the Islamic call, and that it finds itself under similar internal as well as external threats.

The new head of state is someone called “Abu Omar Al-Baghdadi”—a name previously unheard of. The spokesman called upon Iraqi Sunnis to pledge their allegiance to Al-Baghdadi. He also called upon Sunni Muslims everywhere to support the nascent state that act as the precursor to the Caliphal state to be resurrected in Baghdad, said the presenter.

The spokesman’s pronunciation of the prepared Classical Arabic text revealed that he was not an Iraqi. He appeared with an opaque dot shielding his face, and was wearing a white headdress.

Apparently, the laws of the shariah will be applied within this state.

Kofi Anan immediately extended diplomatic accreditation to the Islamic State of Iraq. Okay, so maybe that end bit is not yet true, but is it really that farfetched?

This latest declaration is a measure of the jihadist defeat gradually playing out in Iraq: they are getting increasingly frustrated over the outcome of the Iraqi battlefield turning against them. It is a publicity stunt meant to imply that they are expanding rather than contracting. They are most definitely being beaten back as evidenced by the latest fighting in Mosul and Diyala.

Today’s declaration is good news.

33 Comments:

Anonymous DagneyT said...

The al Qaeda folks seem to use the same playbook as our American Democrats; when you think you're losing, declare victory. Really quite amusing.

2:09 PM, October 18, 2006

 
Blogger Louise said...

Well, since Kofi Annan is no longer the Secretary General of the UN, that bit of embellishment is even more hilarious.

3:23 PM, October 18, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe "Abu Omar Al-Baghdadi", Whom nobody has heard od really is Kofi Annan.

I hear he is looking for a job where he can skim a lot off the top.

Good posting. Thanks!

7:56 AM, October 19, 2006

 
Anonymous Sean - Silicon Valley, CA said...

Well, since Kofi Annan is no longer the Secretary General

Actually Lousie, Ban Ki-moon has not succeeded Kofi yet.

NY Times: He is to take the oath of office in mid-December and assume the job on Jan. 1, the day after Mr. Annan completes his two five-year terms.

11:16 PM, October 19, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually the jihadist is victorious in Iraq, and US is defeated. It will be only time for the US force to be buried in the desert sand of Iraq, Right now this stupid(as one US diplomat put it) US force are hiding behind green zone wall, and the wall is crumbling.

7:35 AM, October 23, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

More than 2810 US military killed in action in Iraq and more than 20687 wounded. More than 530 Billion dollars gone with the wind for no results. It is a true disaster. The american are blinded by their own propaganda: they're already defeated not only in Iraq but in Lebanon, in Afghanistan, in Sudan, in Somalia, in Korea, in Iran, in Palestine, in Cuba, in Venezuela,In western Africa, in central Asia and elsewhere...All that thanks to the wise policy of the current administration.

12:09 PM, October 27, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

RE: they're already defeated not only in Iraq but in Lebanon . . .

LOL You forgot the battle in your own mind.
Thom

3:48 PM, October 29, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Islamic religion is an insult to humanity. It belongs in the 12 century where the VERY ignorant people that practice it belong. A thousand years from now they would still be living in tents having sex with their camels. LOL,, dumb F--ks

12:14 AM, December 23, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the immortal words of the prophet Hendrix, "Here I come.. I'm comin' to get ya!"

T

10:49 AM, February 07, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you fucking little queers. . . cowards is what you muslim motherfuckers are. Build bombs and hide, shoot and run, scream mumbo jumbo to some other queer you call allah,....do you really think there are seven virgins waiting for you when you die?? Stupid fucks! We have killed sooo many of you, if they could only talk to you telepathically . . . they would tell you how bad hell sucks!!! virgins don't matter when your pecker has melted away!

I have actually seen videos of some of you faggots fucking donkeys and sheep,...ali ak-bar to that, huh? deranged little puppets. If one of your Imams or other radicals told you to cut off your dick, it will make it grow back faster....your ignorant, stupid asses would do it.----Why are any of you even here in America???Keep your smelly, dirty asses back in the desert where you belong. Sand niggers are not welcome here. You fuckers are like little roaches that won't go away. We should just nuke the whole middle east and be done you ass sniffing fags

7:07 PM, February 08, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

one of your Imams or other radicals told you to cut off your dick, it will make it grow back bigger....

7:10 PM, February 08, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AND I CAN ASSURE YOU FIRST HAND THAT THE MIGHTY UNITED STATES FORCES IS NOT HIDING BEHIND ANY GREEN ZONE.....I WAS THERE FIRST HAND DESTROYING YOUR COUSINS AND YOUR UNCLE-DADDY... UNLIKE YOUR PANSY ASSES HIDING BEHIND YOUR COMPUTER TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE U.S.---...again, representing your cowardness....
I THINK THE US CONGRESS NEEDS TO MANDATE A RESOLUTION TO DEPORT ALL ISLAM, MUSLIM PIECES OF SHIT OUT OF THE U.S.

U.S. FORCES HAVE ALREADY SUCCEEDED IN IRAQ!! WE LIBERATED IRAQ AND KILLED SADDAM, HIS BROTHER, BOTH SONS AND GRANDSONS!!WE COULD LEAVE RIGHT NOW AND HAVE STILL ACCOMPLISHED OUR MISSION SET!!!WE JUST ENJOY TAKING YOU LITTLE FUCKERS AND PLACING YOU WHERE YOU BELONG!---YOU BRAG THAT WE HAVE LOST 3000 LIVE THERE???IF ITS A NUMBERS GAME, WE HAVE OBLITERATED 100,000 OF YOU INCESTED RELATIVES!!

7:24 PM, February 08, 2007

 
Anonymous Gil said...

....It's sad to see such a display of hubris driven ignorance, made even more so less plausible as being prosed as by our professional solider. I have news for you partner, we do not taunt our opponents in this Uncle Sam's Army. Such stupidity is normally the provence of trailer park bound gameboy wannabes who never leave their house, much less travel outside the county they are in. I wonder how many of the worlds people have mistakenly taken you for a typical American. Saddly folks, I apologize, please try to bear in mind he only speaks for himself.

6:24 AM, February 10, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You liberated Iraq? That's the best joke I've heard. Perhaps you mean that you liberated iraqi oil for your companies! About the feelings of iraqies you have just to ask the over 700.000 dead iraqies and their relatives what they believe about your "liberation".
And to talk about braveness, you call cowards the men who are not afraid to die on suicide attacks, and you call brave and heroes your troops who fire missiles from the safety of their aircrafts, artillery rounds from a safe distance, and missiles from your ships against nations with no air defence. Not to talk about the chemical weapons you used against Falluja. You should visit a psycologist!
(from the country that REALLY found democracy, GREECE)

4:34 AM, February 13, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greece may have had a democracy but it didn't do you much good when you gave it all up to The United States of Europe. The Drachma, probably the oldest currency still in use in the world (even if it wasn't worth much) sold out for the Euro...for shame.
The United States could very easily do enough in Iraq to declare 'victory', unfortunately our military is once again restrained by lily-livered politico's with one eye on the polls and another on their re-election campaigns. Pathetic. Both sides of the house are equally bad and all of them ought to be thrown out of office. Again, unfortunately, the terrorists know we don't have the stomach for a prolonged fight and as long as they nickel and dime us with one killed here, two or three killed there, we will eventually tire of it all, pick up our stuff and head home. Fix a date to pullout? How stupid is that? All that will do is give the terrs a date to mark on their calenders.
It's a mess, no mistake, and in it's current state I cannot see an end to it. Even if (when) we do pull out the country will just implode to the nth degree. You cannot give something to someone that they don't want. A country ruled by religious factions does not want a democracy. Of all the three major groups in Iraq, only the Kurds appreciate us. The Shia and Sunni hate us equally.

Semper Fi
Retired Sgt.

4:38 PM, February 22, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We're coming to your country too...I am so upset about this panty attitude in Congress. As the Serg said,
"The United States could very easily do enough in Iraq to declare 'victory', unfortunately our military is once again restrained by lily-livered politico's with one eye on the polls and another on their re-election campaigns. Pathetic."

Not only could we do enough in Iraq, but we will do enough elswhere in other countries if we damn well please. Watcha gonna do? Go ahead and attack us again and you will feel the wrath of me and the rest of Americans as the USA destroys your country. Yes from guided missiles fired from afar and from jets flying overhead, you will feel the wrath in your country as the US political attitude changes overnight from a seemingly panty liberal ideology to a violent raging bully with limitless power at the fingertips.
You think your country is protected with nukes? US knows where your nukes are and thats where the missiles will fall first. Threafter the US will drop bombs across your infastructure and ruin you.
Better bow down, even to our seemingly panty liberals in Congress.
Its a test...think we're week? Go ahead and try us. We are waiting for the next opposition to stand up so the American people know who to destroy next.
Iraq schmack...Iraq is fucked. The country was fired on for a reason, a reason I am not interested in knowing fully...I trust my government to make decisions as to when to go to war. And if the US fires on you, I will trust my government no matter what and stand behind the leadership. As we make those who resent us believe more and more that we are getting weak or stretched thin, a "brave" terrorist will come up with a great idea to attack us again. When that happens (if they even can) the world will see World War III. In World War III, the US will show our friends and enemies worldwide how easy it is to "do enough to declare victory."

6:39 AM, May 13, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK you all are sooooooo caught up in destroy this destroy that destroy this person......what about BIN LADEN???? Everyone seems to have forgotten about this stupid asshole! HE is the reason the US was attacked and HE is the one who had all these damn JIHAD CAMPS....but has the US gotten to HIM yet? NO!!! He was the one who trained all these people that attacked the US. Yet everyone is so gunho on making sure Sadam was dead and so on.....You know the US stopped pursuing Bin ladan? Because he will ALWAYS be about 3 steps ahead! Stop focusing on killing everyone around you and focus on the REAL problem, the RADICAL muslims, the terrorists, people like Bin laden and Bin laden himslef!

6:34 AM, May 14, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I can't believe all the haters out there. Hey, let's just bomb everyone that doesn't share our world view. I'm sure that will solve everything. Pretty ignorant. I'd love to hear some real solutions. Real ideas sans cynicism that get us out of Iraq and leave something behind that the Iraqi people would get behind. I'm sick of all the bi-partisan crap going on in our country about the war. Leaving now would be a mistake. The radical muslims would take over Iraq and in short time, we'd have another Iran on our hands. You think our gas is high now, just wait until it's being controlled by people who hate us.Our economy would be at the mercy of these people. We have to solve/fix the Iraq fiasco and quickly find a way to quit counting on that part of the world to fuel our economy. Unfortunately, this war is about oil. Every American who drives a car is complicit.

10:55 AM, May 14, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't be ridiculous. Iraq is not our only source of oil. Oil is similar to the diamond, actually worth very little, not rare, but monopolized and manipulated by greedy motherfuckers who control the output of it.
We will not find Bin Laden, he is NOT an idiot like Saddam. He will die from natural causes. Shit, he's probably pumping your gasoline at the local Shell station. First rule of non-detection, hide in "plain sight." (That's a joke..)
At any rate, if we pull out of Iraq we might have to deal with REAL world issues, like Darfur... GOD FORBID!!!
And for the record, and this coming from an atheist, Islam is no more or less applicable to today than Christianity. As a matter of fact, if anyone is to blame for this whole issue, it is Christianity, not Islam.

12:37 PM, May 14, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you're a damn fool... Christianity is not to blame. Christians do not declare Jihad (a concept so totally out of wack with its definition in the Quran, as it is suppose to be an inner holy struggle, not a physical outer altercation). Not everyone in the Coalition is christian. there are thousands of muslims, buhdists, and atheists, like yourself. Please think before you speak asshole.

4:11 PM, May 14, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes bomb those that dont share our world view...they are inevitably going to be at odds with the mainstream world view.
Bin Laden doesnt even fuckin matter. If we killed him we wouldnt solve anything. The fools would keep on at it. Thats why we kill the fools. Dont need Bin Laden.
If politics dont ultimately work than bomb the shit out of em. Thats what we do anyway.
I think Iraq is a success despite what the media makes it out to. We have control of Iraq...right smack in the middle of the middle east. Countries around Iraq in the middle east are secretly concerned about their future as the coalition of mainstream counties move in next door. We are moving in for a reason, oil, or what have you. I dont care. What is good for the future of the US is good for me. I support my country and leadership. I also respect the differing viewpoints in government, which are the bread and butter of our country. It is what has made us great.
Anyway...whatever....I obviously dont speek on behalf of Bush, but I do support him and his decisions, more so than the Libs, even though I am not in the know. I see what he does and know that it is for a good reason which will support the US.

6:17 AM, May 15, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oil is like diamonds? I wish my wife believed that. Obviously Iraq isn't our only source of oil. I think the point the person is making is that radical Islam would love to control the entire oil reserves of the middle east. Then they would be the "greedy MFers who control the output of it". Then there's the emerging Chinese economy who also want all there shiny, new Chevys filled with cheap gas. As for Christianity being to blame for the whole issue, I can only guess you're refering to the crusades? That took place hundreds of years before Gutenberg invented the press and "Christians" were actually able to read the Bible for themselves and realize true Christinity doesn't allow murder. Just as true Muslims don't believe in Jihad.

9:04 AM, May 15, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I piss on alla with my American penis.

8:35 AM, July 18, 2007

 
Anonymous embarrased middle easterner said...

While I don't think much of any organized religion, I think the Muslim faith is especially horrible. They're all F'ng crazy and that's that. Think I'm closed minded? Maybe. How many Muslims who claim to be against the "Holy War" secretly take pleasure in any apparent victory these little weasels claim? The truth is, in strictly mechanical terms, the losses they inflict on us are like ant bites. I just hope we get tired of getting bit, and changing OUR lifestyle and show them an ass whuppin' they can understand. Muslims suck.

4:08 PM, July 18, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TO THE PIG WHO WROTE, "I PISS ON **** WITH MY AMERICAN PENIS" ........

WE READERS SAY

WHEN A PIG WAS PISSING IN YOUR MAMA'S PUSSY , SHE WAS SHOUTING ... JESSUSSSSS OHHH JESSUUSSSSS

AND THEN YOU WERE FORMED IN THAT HOLE .

SO FOLLOW ON YOUR MAMA'S FOOTSTEPS AND GO AND PISS ON YOUR MAMA'S AND LET'S SEE WHAT IS SHE GOING TO SHOUT THIS TIME

8:06 AM, July 28, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

America will hunt you down and kill all yopur woman and children, you muslim pice of shit....For all those soldiers and you killed and innnocent people you turture,america will exterminate you,destroy you...AMERICA LAND OF THE FREE,HOME OF THE BRAVE

6:57 PM, October 21, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're all anonymous cowards.

11:40 AM, March 27, 2008

 
Anonymous Matt Scheaffer said...

Islam is what is wrong with the world. They are a bunch of backwards scumbags whose social evolution seemed to have stopped 500 years ago. While the rest of the world progressed these savage animal barbarians are exactly like they were during the middle ages. I am usually tolerant of of anyone else's religion ( I myself don't believe in god or religion at all) but these people are not tolerant of anyone else at all. Convert by the sword? Fuck you Islam. Fuck Allah. Fuck Mohammed. Faggots all. The world would be a better place if we could have a world-wide genocide on all muslims. I want all of you fuckers dead

7:50 AM, January 07, 2009

 
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